How having cancer a second time is showing me I'm healing...

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“I can see your anxiety is different this time. I wanted to let you know that I noticed.”

My cancer doctor said these words to me on a recent telephone appointment and it hit me like a ton of bricks in the gentlest way.

Whoa.

I’ve been once again navigating the uncertain terrain of a recurrent cancer diagnosis since December of last year.

As Molly says in Dying For Sex (because of course I watch triggering cancer shows when I have cancer) “Eighty percent of cancer is just waiting”.

I laughed out loud at that line. Because in our lovely medical system, that couldn’t be more true. I’ve been wading my way through for nearly six months and only finally now have a first step of treatment scheduled. SO MUCH WAITING!

And with that waiting comes nail-biting, sleep-disrupting, relationship-rupturing anxiety, right?

Maybe…or maybe not.

I’m not here to toot my own horn and say I’m a super-human cancer patient who has no fear and treats everyone around me flawlessly despite going through one of my worst fears - my thyroid cancer coming back.

Nope, I have had my moments of burn-out with all of it, of dropping balls, of being a messy puddle.

AND I do wanna show up and ask YOU to celebrate this proof-in-the-pudding HOLY SHIT ITS STILL WORKING moment with me!

Somatic living has healed my anxiety

What I don’t mean: I never experience anxiety at all no matter what is happening.

What I DO mean: The way I navigate anxiety has changed SO MUCH that even someone only tangentially connected to my life felt moved to comment on the change.

What’s true: I still experience extreme sensitivity (hello SOBBING my way through a biopsy procedure even while numbed out with lidocaine). I even sometimes still experience panic attacks, or the beginning signs of them.

What has changed is the incredible breadth of SOMATIC TOOLS I have access to, the way I relate to my body and flow with what is happening rather than fight against it, the amount of spaciousness I prioritize in my life to process and FEEL everything, and also to HAVE FUCKING FUN no matter what else is going on. I love to resource with fun ; )

My lovely doctor is damn right. I am showing up differently to cancer this time around.

And I’m sharing this because I want YOU to know that you can live this way too. YOU can have a rock solid foundation of “peace that passes understanding” (to steal from ye old B-I-B-L-E.)

But the wisdom I’m touting is not from an organized religion packing a patriarchal punch. While I do personally experience my life spiritually in deep connection to Source and cannot discount the miracles in my life, there’s a peace that transcends any one belief system.

This peace is free to ALL and it’s your birthright. You don’t need a good book or anyone holier than thou to give it to you. It’s right in your amazing, perfectly imperfect, thriving-against-all-odds, beautiful BODY.

Somatic living helps us experience right relationship in flow with life because we can experience how life is always in flux, and whatever feels destabilized can be RESOURCED and we can remember how to trust the change.

I know, not just in my analytical brain but in my experiential body, that I can release fear-based tension and trust the changing tides because I experience and remember my resilience in every fiber of my being.

You might be curious what practices are helping me the most in this time, and how you can learn to live in this flow, too?

First of all, getting OUTSIDE for intentional, undistracted connection with nature is always a good place to start.

And, I would LOVE to book a 1:1 call with you and talk with you all about the Whole Body Communicator program and how the skills I teach in that program are exactly what is supporting me every day and can help you too!

Please book your FREE INTRO CALL HERE

And if you prefer to learn slowly on your own I respect that, too. That’s been me in seasons of my life. I will say, my healing up-leveled exponentially in the times I gathered in 1:1 support and group trainings. And I’m so grateful I did it when I did so I could have the tools and foundation I do now.

Whenever the time is right, I’m here. In love and healing, always. <3

In the meantime, read up on all the practices I discuss on this newsletter and check out this recent podcast on applying somatic techniques to parenting.

Creator Corner Collective

Here’s the part where I highlight someone else’s work! Speaking of the above podcast, go check out Embrace Renewal Therapy . This awesome Couples Therapist for Parents is out here doing the most for families! I am so grateful to have had the chance to meet Reesa and collaborate on this podcast together while also sharing my own mama’s Special Sauce recipe for the episode.

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Want to be highlighted in my letter? Reach out and tell me more about your work.

I am asking for HELP!

One of the ways I beat anxiety is BELIEVING and TRUSTING that I am part of a WEB, an “intraconnected” (to quote Dan Siegel’s word creation) network of amazing beings who all support one another. I can’t do it alone. And we aren’t designed to thrive alone. And I know I’m not alone. Even though life has in moments shown me the experience of deep loneliness, it has also shown me how well human beings CAN care for each other! To that end, I am asking for support while I beat cancer.

DONATE HERE

Here is my fundraiser. If you have anything to spare please give. Or maybe you know a community with extra resources, please pass it along!

I can’t wait to tell you all that I’m in the clear again and kicking ass.

Until then, I’ll be over here just kicking ass.

More creative stuff

You can check out more healing offerings at www.weepingwillowwellness.com

Book a FREE strategy session here to meet with me and discuss joining my 12 week somatic healing program, Whole Body Communicator

Find my music anywhere you stream. Just search Fermata Blaize!

Check out my children’s book The Possum And The Bunny

Listen to my podcast episode of the I Heart My Life show

Join our Artist of Everything monthly Zoom hang by becoming a paid subscriber for $5. Your invitation is below the paywall ;)

And more to come!

As always, below this paywall is another card pull of the

Naked Truth Oracle Deck!

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