"It's provocative. It get's the people going!"

"If you stand for nothing, what do you fall for?" (Read to the end for three invitations.)

A titular round of "Name That Tune!” Comment below with what songs those lyrics came from for no reward at all besides the pleasure of playing a game with me :D

Pictured: 8th grade Blaize, head first in the early days of the biggest upheaval of all I knew to be true, with so much hair, and so little sense of self.

“Blaize, a lot of people say you don’t have a personality because you’re just nice to everyone.” ~ anon

A school friend and coworker casually dropped these heart-wrenching words on me at a shift at McDonald’s (one of my high school jobs - yes jobS, ya boi’s always had multiple lol).

To this day, I feel an ache in my chest cavity re-visiting these words. You see, when I transitioned from the small cult that was my family, led by my Dad, into the “WORLD” and joined PUBLIC SCHOOL, my head was constantly spinning with the newness, the bigness and openness of the world. The vast array of perspectives I had never been allowed to even know about much less consider left me adrift.

I felt so lost in the sauce and clung to one thing I knew was true;

Being kind to people was good.

The other side of that truth was that desperately needing community I could trust, coupled with the realization that much of what I’d been taught as fundamental truth was actually just a chosen perspective had caused me to embrace the survival response of abruptly trading the spitfire, confident, polarizing, natural leader I had always been for an ever-smiley “nice girl.”

There is nothing wrong with this season. I was moving through the world creating safety for myself the best way I could as I opened my own damn mind to all the possible ways of existing that would soon be mine to choose.

However, no one knew what I stood for, except nice-ness. When someone finally told me that, it was a gut-punch, because deep down, we all long to be known. Since I didn’t know myself, no one else did either. And that was deeply tragic to teen-age Blaize.

My heart breaks a little when I look at the girl pictured above, with the plastered on smile, so afraid to get angry, immobilized from speaking their truth.

Cut to fifteen years later. I still stand for nice-ness. I still believe treating people with kindness is incredibly important individually and systemically and is fundamental to maintaining our humanity.

AND

I stand for a whole lot MORE. And some of it makes people pretty upset. And that’s how I know it’s working. ; ) When we share POLARIZING content, we expose who in our lives is really for us. People actually know us, and can be down or not.

I stand (and sometimes hang on hehee) for living your own truth. I stand for COEXISTING so long as your choices don’t take away someone else’s safety. I stand for non-violent communication. I stand for growth mindset.

To get specific with a few examples, in my own life, at this time, I personally stand for my own truth of embracing love in a polyamorous structure, expressing my gender fluidly, exploring my sexuality fluidly, and learning and healing in sacred, safe containers for boundaried and consent forward social nudity. I stand for eradicating transactional relating in favor of non-attachment and grace, honoring reciprocity in relationship without keeping score. I stand for PLAY, in every sense of the word. I stand for arranging priorities in alignment with holistic health values. I stand for building community that shows up for each other, that calls each other to our highest vibrations through radical honesty, respect and love.

I stand for womxn’s rights, queer rights, trans rights, redistribution of wealth, sex worker’s rights and protections, active anti-racism, access to human rights for all, celebration of our many cultures, doing something when you see something, co-creating safer, inclusive communities, co-healing ourselves and our planet, conscious co-existing with our environment and each other.

I realize that these ideas bring up internal conflict for many of us. I invite us to create the nervous system support within ourselves to hold space for that discomfort until we can arrive at a place of peace with our differences. We have the ability to transmute that cognitive dissonance into radical self acceptance, which creates boundless space for harmony.

Some people aren’t there yet.

Exhibit A

After story-posting the image above of me showing off a gleeful moment of newly re-claimed pole strength, I received this message from a concerned family member.

The irony of this message is that I actually feel the most clear on who I am, the most calm, deeply rooted and held by Source than I have EVER felt in my life. I feel this, and I know this, and am unshakeable in the love I have for myself exactly as I am.

I am not offended by people reaching out to share an opposing perspective, or even to voice a concern when it’s done from a place of curiosity, humility and the desire for greater mutual understanding, with respect for each other’s individual journeys and choices. In fact, I welcome those conversations with excitement for what can be discovered and how my ideas can be challenged, tested, overturned, and upgraded!

This person’s approach did none of that. They came at me waving the B-I-B-L-E without a single clarifying question about my pole moment, about my life, my mental state, my beliefs. They condemned me as “lost” without attempting to know where I am.

This is an example of unconscious relating, and doesn’t fit into the model of Non-Violent Communication.

The ever-present teacher part of me had invited re-connection with this person a few months ago, aiming for mutual understanding, and perhaps the chance to gently express why their approach was problematic to me.

To their credit, they let me share, and then proceeded to evangelize me until I left their home.

Exhibit B

Consider our continued text exchange below.

The thing here that I want to highlight, is that the break-down in communication actually has nothing to do with us having opposing world views. That is the case, and likely will stay the case until kingdom come! Lol

I’m not actually interested in changing their world view because it doesn’t bother me how anyone chooses to relate to Source, experience their own redemption and healing, or motivate their own growth.

All that matters to me is people choosing peace and growth every chance we get.

The issue at hand, is actually that family member initiated contact from a place of predetermined judgement, accusation, and closed energy.

I let them know that this approach closed off any opportunity for connection or safe, open conversation, and they ignored that information. They weren’t in a place to even hear it.

So, I closed the circle of communication. I disconnected energetically and let them go. I didn’t do this perfectly. I used their words against them, and let my pain seep into the tone of my words. I still have work to do around slowing down my responses until I’m not speaking from my triggers.

And, the truth is, this person is not someone I can continue relating to. They certainly are not someone I can build a conscious connection with. They are also not ready to receive any teaching I might have to share. And while I do believe their intention is to help me, it is misinformed by religious principles that encourage this type of harmful, black and white judgement of others.

To me, God isn’t “Him”, and They certainly aren’t in the pages of a book written by men, or a religion instituted by men largely for the control of minorities, and weaponized world wide for thousands of years to this day.

The Jesus story is beautiful, as are many stories in the Bible. And many people practice Christianity in such a problematic way that I will not claim that label.

Am I “lost” and going to H-E-double hockey sticks?

Who knows! One thing I do know, is that I show up to interactions with far more grace, honesty, compassion, openness and love now than I ever did as a practicing Christian. And that sure doesn’t feel like lost to me.

I’m so much more than “nice”.

So tell me more about Non-Violent Communication

Here’s where I would usually include some helpful information about a somatic concept. But Substack is giving me an error notice that this rendition of AoE is too long to be emailed!

So here, instead, please send me a message. I’m planning to lead a workshop or mini-course on a somatic approach to non-violent communication. If this is something you’d like to learn more about from me, you can let me know!

In the meantime, see what a quick Google search on NVC produces here!

Creator Corner Collective

When one of us succeeds we all succeed. I believe this. No one grows anything in a vacuum. Because of this, each installment of AoE, I highlight another creator.

This week, I give you Sacred Circle Theater Co., led by the brave and magnetic Raymond Arnold. Speaking of standing for something provocative, SCTC’s work has always been titillating and bold!

Read their words below! And go see their play in November in NYC!

MEET SACRED CIRCLE THEATRE COMPANY 

“We are Sacred Circle, the queer/trans/feminist theatre company based in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Under the leadership of Raymond Arnold, we have been creating queer theatre since 2016. Queer theatre can be a lot of things, but for us it is always provocative, vibrant, relevant to our current moment, and grounded in the powers of the body.

We know and love your Artist of Everything very well! Blaize worked with us on our first ever production, and went on to have a featured role in our 2017 show, RONDEAU: A Beauty Masked. .

We love Blaize for their effervescent and generous spirit, and their commitment to making art wherever they go.” (Awwww gee, thank you!)

“After all the ups-and-downs of Covid, Sacred Circle is at long last returning to a full-blown production! And blowing we’ve been doing, with our 2024 mainstage the play about the blow job.

Set somewhere between an orgiastic ritual and a liminal Bushwick, the play about the blow job follows six queer people as their community cycles through a year of flirtation, passion, betrayal, and acceptance. Someone is hung up on an ex. Someone is always looking to fuck. Someone is obsessed with their primary partner. Someone is writing a play about a blowjob.

This ensemble piece, written so that actors of any gender can play any role, enters into the mythic forest of queer parties, dive bars, and corner coffeeshops. Each time another drink is poured or another swig is swallowed, it’s clear: no myth of Man or Queen truly tells the story of queer/trans community. If that’s true, how can we know ourselves? And how do we find each other?

This play has been made by and for our community! Sacred Circle wants you there with us! If you are in the Brooklyn/Queens area, please come through! Tickets are on sale now at this link.

And if you can’t make the show, please follow us at on Instagram and TikTok at @sacredcircletheatre” - SCTC 

Want to be highlighted in my letter? Reach out and tell me more about your work.

I’ve got three invitations for YOU!

1. Improv!

Thanks for sticking with me this far! If you’re in the LA area, come spend an evening with my improv team, The Pasadonuts, next Friday 10/18 at The Hit theater. We have a really fun show structure where we create a movie on the spot with your input and suggestions! It’s a riot. And laughter is the best medicine. Grab your tickets and vote for the show’s hero here! (you don’t have to vote for me ;P ).

Here we are Passing Donuts at a pool party ;)

2. New Music!

Wherever you are in the world, you can listen to my brand new single, Wisdom’s Hourglass! This song tells the story of loving a place that you know you need to leave. I want to hear what you think!

3. Clothing Optional Yoga!

I’m holding two group clothing optional yoga practices this month.

The first is next Thursday 10/17 at 4pm indoors in Granada Hills, CA.

The second is Friday 10/25 at 9:30am outdoors in Altadena, CA.

Grab your tickets and learn more HERE

I’m going to be sending out an email sequence soon that will help segment out my email list for those of you who are more interested in nude yoga, music, somatic workshops, etc.

This newsletter will always be everything, all in one place. Receive what you want and disregard the rest!

Love you.

More creative stuff

You can check out more healing offerings at www.weepingwillowwellness.com

Book a FREE strategy session here to meet with me and discuss joining my 12 week somatic healing program, Whole Body Communicator

Find my music anywhere you stream. Just search Fermata Blaize!

Check out my children’s book The Possum And The Bunny

Join our Artist of Everything monthly Somatic Zoom hang by becoming a paid subscriber for $5. Your invitation is below the paywall ;)

And more to come!

In love and healing,

Blaize

P.S.

Only thing behind this five dollar paywall this time is our AoE Somatic Zoom hang, scheduled for October 15th at 9am PST. Come hang and learn a new somatic practice, or ask me questions about non-violent communication, or really anything, and receive some coaching and some love!

You’re invited! And if you just love this newsletter and wanna subscribe to support all I’m building over here, you can do that, even if you can’t make our group meetings.