Sometimes I can't breathe...

When life is lifing real hard, my body reminds me what I need.

Breathwork, song, and other somatic tools for panic…

I’m sitting here, writing to you, watching leaves flutter down from the neighborhood trees. Dappled sunlight speckles my face as I sit under my own tree friend. Picturesque? You bet. And currently, my breath ping pongs between ease as I gaze around at the beauty in which I sit, and constriction, as my phone is blown up with texts about a situation that is breaking my heart.

This month, I threw what, to date, is my favorite birthday party yet. I welcomed in an avalanche of love, what felt like being waterboarded with love in the best way possible. I’m swimming in it! I can hardly believe I get to have this much! My heart space aches with the immense fullness of my love cup overflowing.

And, someone I love like my own skin, as much a part of me as the air in my lungs, is hurting. And I can’t fix it. And our closeness and trust is shattered. When I let myself think of it my whole chest aches in a totally different way, a stabbing, that moves up and closes my throat. I am bereft. And when I put it aside from my presence, it’s still there, like a low rumble of tinnitus in the backdrop, reminding me things are not well.

And the world rages on. And the people with the most power are the most insane. And I have health and school concerns for my precious child. And I dropped a music video yesterday. And I’ve been invited on several exciting travels in the New Year. And I’m in an exciting educational program that is giving me even more tools to bring to you! And I’m giving SO MUCH to my somatic practice, and nurturing my business so it can be the tree I lean on as I find an ever more sustainable flow in this life as an artist, entrepreneur, parent, lover, sister, playmate, mover, rebel, spirit.

It is SO MUCH, friend! I am overcome, undone. And yet, I am okay. I am wonderful, even. How?

I breathe. I sing. I gather support.

Breathing;

It is Thursday. And for many Thursdays, I joined my dear friend’s breathwork class. Now, I often do breathwork solo. When I feel constricted in my breath, holotropic breathwork helps to open my thoracic cavity, move stuck energy, and help me release into my full breath again. It’s called breath WORK because it is effortful, and so worth it. Learn more here, or book a session with me!

Singing;

The power of using our own voices is so underrated. In polyvagal theory, we learn that stimulating the vagal nerve center at the throat chakra with our own vocal chord vibrations is an easy hack to help regulate the autonomic nervous system.

My own throat chakra was so blocked, my voice so jammed up for so many years, I believe it’s connected to my battle with thyroid cancer. I remember in high school playing Cinderella in the Rogers and Hammerstein musical production, and my co-star asking me why I wasn’t fully singing. I’ve been a singer all my life, yet my traumatic experiences had caused so much tightness and blockage I didn’t have the ability to use my whole voice.

After surviving cancer, I promised myself nothing would stop me from using my whole voice ever again... (It’s why I created the Whole Body Communicator program to help you do the same!) When I feel stuck, I sing. I hum, I make preverbal sounds. or I write a song!

Last night, Cali and I attended Harmonize Voices, a community singing circle that was so powerful.

Gathering Support;

When my own tools are getting me by, but deep down, I know I need to call in some more support, I gather my team. I book a call with my therapist. I get a Reiki treatment, or my new fave, foot reflexology with Tylynn.

Everyone needs a support system, especially those of us called to supporting others. What does yours consist of? I really wanna know.

When my support system is strong, and I’m tending to my soma, I have unlimited love to give, (and receive), and I can handle ANYTHING.

And first, I must breathe.

But what about full-on panic attacks?

I used to get them. And I shared that last month I had exactly 1.5 panic attacks, because of a situation I’m moving through. They happened, but they didn’t overtake me. I felt my own bedrock of trust in myself and my body even underneath the storm.

Earlier this week I posted this reel on Instagram, offering you somatic tools that help me in moving through panic attacks or intense feelings of anxiety. (Click the photo above to watch the reel.)

The wonderful thing about somatics, is you get to experiment and explore what works for YOUR SOMA on any given day. The beauty of returning again and again to physical practice is that you begin to discover new things for yourself, bring your own creativity to it, and find what practices work for different situations for YOU.

The benefit of working with an experienced practitioner is, of course, the years of study and head knowledge about what may more likely work for your nervous system and trauma response or energy block. And, I want to empower you that somatic practices are available to you NOW, for FREE, anytime, anywhere.

I’m here if you need support on this journey, and you totally don’t need me to get started. (Terrible sales pitch, I know, but it’s the truth! hah!)

Creator Corner Collective

Speaking of singing, this guy can SING!

When one of us succeeds we all succeed. I believe this. No one grows anything in a vacuum. Because of this, each installment of AOE, I highlight another amazing creator! It is my great privilege to connect you as a community to each other!

Today, meet David Erik Peterson.

David is a professional singer, actor, and percussionist living & loving in Los Angeles.  If you meet him at Burning Man, you know him as Darko.  He's building a spiritual retreat center just north of Los Angeles, "kinda behind Six Flags Magic Mountain..."

• Paradise Solar Hot Springs

• Selling 2.5 acres with house RIGHT NOW

• Facebook.

The very exciting piece of news with this, is that within the property that will become a retreat center is a home with 2.5 acres attached that is currently for SALE!

If you are interested in the property, or connecting with David, click the links above.

Want to be highlighted in my letter? Reach out and tell me more about your work.

At long last, a music video!

I’ve been promising the music video for Wisdom’s Hourglass for months! And FINALLY, it is here! Click the photo below to watch it. I’d really love to hear what you think.

This one really took tenacity. There were so many roadblocks, tech issues, team members dropping out last minute, gahh!! And yet, here it is. A thing that exists, and I like it. And I’m proud of it, and so grateful for all the people who contributed to it’s existence. I’ll never stop singing and creating. I hope it speaks to you in some way. I wrote this one about the feeling of being nostalgic for a place that you have complicated feelings about, and the desire to tell someone to get away while they can.

Our next Clothing Optional Yoga class in LA

is December 11th at 4m in Granada Hills. Book here.

More creative stuff

You can check out more healing offerings at www.weepingwillowwellness.com

Book a FREE strategy session here to meet with me and discuss joining my 12 week somatic healing program, Whole Body Communicator

Find my music anywhere you stream. Just search Fermata Blaize!

Check out my children’s book The Possum And The Bunny

Join our Artist of Everything monthly Zoom hang by becoming a paid subscriber for $5. Your invitation is below the paywall ;)

And more to come!