The power of BOTH/AND, and why we should all be getting naked more...

Practicing BOTH/AND thinking and taking off our clothes are acts of resistance in a world that programs us to think in black and white limits.

Hear ye the good word of the BOTH/AND

“When did BOTH/AND happen?” I plug into Google. Turns out this common term in the therapeutic world gained momentum way back in the 70’s with the anorexia treatment work of Mara Selvini-Palazzoli.

The concept of BOTH/AND pushes against either/or narratives that were popular in psychoanalysis. It illustrates how many ideas, feelings and yes SOMATIC sensations can coexist within an individual and a community.

When we open ourselves from “binaried” thinking and move into more fluid acceptance of seemingly conflicting truths, we can embrace a more holistic view of ourselves and our world. This more balanced view can support us from fixating on a one-sided narrative that might strip us of our power, or get us stuck, ruminating on learned helplessness.

We bring in the lens of the both/and, and we prompt an exploration of what else is true, right alongside the initial or perhaps dominant thought, feeling or sensation.

I am in pain. The left side of my neck hurts. AND I feel relaxed pleasure. My belly feels soft and satiated with healthy food.

Makes sense? Simple enough? Yep.

Putting this into practice, though, is challenging because despite this concept being around for probably thousands of years (Mara didn’t invent it), we still experience systemic socialization that teaches us black and white, right and wrong, this or that.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

What if I am experiencing happiness right at the same time as a part of me holds a deep ache of grief? What do I do with my body then, pre-school teacher?

Most of us didn’t have this kind of vocabulary for our self-awareness as it was taught to us at that age, so we learned to go along with binaries…and character statements, and labels, and boxes, and accepted limitations.

The good news is, playful discovery now is all yours and its FREEEEEEE!!!!

Your invitation is to notice what story you are telling yourself, and if it starts to get one-sided, ask how you can explore the other side. If a narrative starts to feel all-encompassing or blanket-statement-ey, ask your brain to bring you evidence of the “other”, and sit with both being true.

For example, “Bad stuff just happens to me, one thing after another. I’m in a rut and my entire life is a case study of one bad thing to the next.” While there may be moments this feels true, what evidence is there of the flip side of that?

“I had clean water to drink this morning. My cat came home after being missing.”

Both can be true! I can feel like a lot of hard things are stacking, and I can acknowledge the good things, and letting them shine in the story can RESOURCE me in handling the tough stuff.

Another great way to put this into practice is in how we answer invitations.

We often say “Oh I can’t do that because xyz, BUT thanks for inviting me.”

What if we practice saying “and”?

“Oh, I won’t make it, AND I thank you for thinking of me.”

How does that land differently?

Both/And, but do it naked…

Photo by Europeana on Unsplash

“Naked cartoon dancer” I type into AI image generator. It spits back an error message. “Nude dancer”? I try. Again, it does not compute.

Telling.

Ya’ll know me well enough to know I’m all about nudist practices.

But do you know WHY???

I BELIEVE in the healing power of nudity and social nudity in the way that it allows us space to repeatedly teach our BODIES the experience of the “other”.

Let me digress.

Many (most) of us at some point in our childhood and young adulthood are taught that nudity is dangerous, shameful, wrong, or explicitly sexual.

We don’t come into the world this way. Tiny tots have zero shame about running butt naked on the beach.

Yet at some point, we learn the above as binary truths. I believe getting naked regularly to move, dance, and even to witness others do the same is an act of embodied rebellion against those things BEING unarguably TRUE.

YES, in some spaces exposing our bodies is unsafe, especially for minority genders.

And if you are a SA survivor like me, being in a safe, boundaried nude practice can be a way back home to trusting (with PROOF) that being nude around people can be safe.

YES, we are humans and we are never separate from our sexuality. Feeling rainfall on my face can be goddamn erotic and arousing.

AND nudity CAN be practiced outside of sexual encounters.

YES there are some situations where nudity would be inappropriate and wrong, in the presence of others who are not consenting to it, in a society that has agreed upon wearing clothes over our private parts, for example.

AND nudity itself is NOT WRONG! Our naked bodies are beautiful, perfect, holy, and celebratory.

You see what I’m doing here? I’m taking every binary about nudity and exploring the AND, and then practicing that exploration in the buff. ;)

When my BODY gets to put in the reps of experiencing the “AND”, the “OTHER”, I can FEEL the sensation of what it actually means, and begin to unlearn that conditioning SOMATICALLY.

This is why I am committed to offering safer, brave, boundaried clothing optional practices for us all.

That and because if AI is being trained not to understand the word “naked” I wanna be part of the resistance to whatever puritanical plebeian mind control THAT is!

If you are in the LA area, come join us Friday morning in Altadena for clothing optional yoga.

Clothing optional means you don’t have to get fully nude if that doesn’t feel right.

AND you can if you want! (see what I did there ;P)

AND, if social nudity is 100% not your jam right now, or even if it is and you still wanna explore somatics with clothes on, come join me at Yoga Six in Studio City on Sunday, May 18th at 2pm for Holotropic Harmony, a somatic and breath workshop.

Creator Corner Collective

Here’s where I highlight another artist, creator, or biz! This practice of using this newsletter to cross pollinate our communities is so important to me.

This issue, in light of discussing the power of nudity, I’m highlighting the Fude Experience run by Charlie Ann Max and team. These events may be on hiatus at the moment, but you should still go get your application in to attend. They combine nuanced, mediated conversation on provoking topics with artistic or healing workshops and scrumptious food. If you wanna get naked with others, go check em out!

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Want to be highlighted in my letter? Reach out and tell me more about your work.

The both/and on and off stage

(see babygirl rockin’ out in the foreground of this pic :D)

I had a TOUGH breakup last month. Actually I had three (poly people problems) but one really sucker punched me outta nowhere. I sang all about it in three songs at Yonder Coffee last weekend.

I like to think my set exhibited the BOTH/AND. You can watch the whole thing on Youtube and let me know what you think!

I explored the different sides and phases of grief and rage, healing, peace, and somatic resourcing through the experience.

More creative stuff

You can check out more healing offerings at www.weepingwillowwellness.com

Book a FREE strategy session here to meet with me and discuss joining my 12 week somatic healing program, Whole Body Communicator

Find my music anywhere you stream. Just search Fermata Blaize!

Check out my children’s book The Possum And The Bunny

Listen to my podcast episode of the I Heart My Life show

And more to come!

As always, below this paywall is this issue’s card pulls from the Naked Truth Oracle Deck that is being woven together this year. Thank you for your subscription and your support in me seeing this project all the way to completion!