Just Starting a Substack...

Sometimes jumping in is the hardest part. An exploration of Imposter Syndrome.

Moody Headshot so you can feel my tortured artsy vibe this week…

My Imposter Syndrome was on FIRE last week.

After clicking send on the introductory installment of this newsletter, I spiraled. My inner critic was tearing the whole thing to shreds. They screamed that the writing felt like a diary entry, stream-of-conciousness, word-vomit, actual vomit-inducing piece of crap.

If you’ve looked into Internal Family Systems (IFS), you’ll know what I mean when I say my protectors and exiles were at war. It was an all-out bloodbath. Okay, I’m dramatizing my media here. But seriously, I didn’t know if I’d be able to drag myself back to this laptop.

And yet, underneath the scramble of thought loops in my brain, was a still, small voice.

My Inner Knowing chimed in gently, persistently, saying “You’re here. You’re safe here. You’re sharing something important. Your voice matters. You’ve got this.”

And my inner child glowed back. They beamed.

A little tingle-y feeling of love swims down my back in this moment as I return to this vessel of craft with that voice front and center.

It feels good in my body to be making this newsletter, once I get all the carryings-on out of the way. And that’s how I know it is good. I trust myself and my listening relationship with my body. My somatic experience of writing this newsletter is layered, yes. And the core is good.

And so it is.

A Somatic Approach to Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome from Wikipedia: “Impostor syndrome, also known as impostor phenomenon or impostorism, is a psychological experience of intellectual and professional infraudulence.^[1] It is "the subjective experience of perceived self-doubt in one's abilities and accomplishments compared with others, despite evidence to suggest the contrary.""

Have you ever experienced this? Imposter syndrome could actually be understood as a “Protector Part” in IFS. When this annoying thought loop shows up, it is because in some way we feel unsafe. Maybe in the past, you tried to share something you were proud of, and instead of being well-received, it was shot down. Maybe someone made stepping into your power feel unsafe. Whatever the reason, Imposter Syndrome is showing up now to shrink you away from the scary sensation of stepping into the spotlight in the present.

Notice how I said sensation? It’s a physical experience. It’s not just a thought-loop. The thought loop is there to protect you from the physical (somatic) experience of discomfort.

This can manifest in the body as a freeze experience, a dorsal vagal state, or hypoarousal of the nervous system. Listening to that inner critic can cause tightening in the musculature, a feeling of collapse, loss of energy, brain fog, lack of focus and motivation.

Thankfully, we are not at the mercy of this cycle. We can take action to soothe our body. This is where somatic practices come in!

In order for this process to be effective, you must first develop a listening relationship with your body, to be able to clock when and how these events are playing out. It all boils down to communication with your body. (That’s why my somatic healing program is called The Whole Body Communicator).

As you listen to your body, you can begin to notice when and where you feel constriction and ease. You can notice when you feel collapsed or steady.

If an episode of Imposter Syndrome is leading into shut-down, try this!

I made a quick Instagram reel that walks you through the practice.

Play-by-play of the somatic practice:

First, quiet your mind and body, and listen for three places in your body and in your space that feel good. Anchor with these safe resources internally and externally.

Unwind your hips. So much STUFF gets stuck in the hips. (Stuff = trauma)

Shake it up! Bounce, dance, shake it off. Get your heart rate elevated. Move chi. Shake your fascia. MOVE.

Tell your inner child something encouraging and kind. And really mean it. And really receive it! Notice where in your body you can feel sensations in this moment.

Expand your physique. Literally make your body take up more space. As you do this, clock those places in your body that felt good. And repeat the kind message to your brave inner child who is stepping into the unknown by sharing your gifts. Whether it’s a presentation at work, a creative project, a boundary for a friend or family member, or anything else, share it boldly. Ask your Inner Critic to take a backseat. Tell them you are safe, and what you are sharing is important. Now go for it!

Lastly, if you need more support, get it! That’s what I’m here for! (In 1:1 work we will go into these practices with greater depth and personalized specificity. ) If not me, call a trusted friend, cuddle a pet, hug a tree, touch the Earth, connect with water.

Or, check out the amazing coach below. She’s wonderful and I’m so excited to tell you all about her!

Creator Corner Collective

When one of us succeeds we all succeed. I believe this. No one grows anything in a vacuum. Because of this, each edition, I’m going to highlight another creator who’s work I am inspired by.

This week I’m elevating a dear friend, Arielle Beth Klein.

Arielle is totally an “artist of everything” too! She brilliantly wears many hats, and here, I’d like to highlight her AMAZING coaching company and podcast, Just Start Storytelling.

Arielle Beth Klein (she/her) is a forever student. She’s taken every type of storytelling class under the sun: solo show writing, acting, clowning, playwriting, screenwriting, improv – you name it. After helping friends with their passion projects, in 2020 she officially launched her creative coaching business and podcast Just Start Storytelling to encourage fellow creatives (and anyone!) to tell their own stories.

One client says, “ I am certain it was her commitment to my writing project that helped me finish the first draft of my first screenplay (something I had dallied with for YEARS!)” - Nathaniel 2019

Aside from being a Virgo and obsessing over goal-setting and organization, Arielle is an actor, published playwright, and produced filmmaker. She says, “my mission is to use what I’ve learned to make your process easier. I’ve already made a ton of mistakes so you don’t have to! You’ll make your own, but you don’t have to also make mine.” 

Have an idea but unsure where to start? Reach out to Arielle to reach your creative goals.

Follow her on Instagram @__juststart

Want to be highlighted in my letter? Reach out and tell me more about your work.

Just Making Music

It took me YEARS to get out of my own imposter syndrome way and start making music. I’d studied piano and voice my ENTIRE childhood, competed at state and national levels. I’d written poetry in journals for decades. I’d sung my poetry to myself and even figured out how to combine it all into something that felt like music.

I had started working with a couple of producers, purchased Ableton as my Christmas present to myself in 2022, completed or half completed lots of tracks.

And still, I let all these voices, internal and external, tell me it wasn’t enough.

Whelp, last Fall, I went to a music festival. I’m not sure why this one was so impactful. Although, I have some ideas… (ask me about this in our exclusive Zoom hang).

I had a euphoric experience post-festie. I got a rainbow fermata tattoo and chose the song-writing moniker @FermataBlaize The musical symbol fermata means to hold, or sustain. I decided in that moment I’d commit to following the ache inside that had told me all my life to make music. I would sustain this fire.

I released my first song out into the world. And I’m continuing to release more. Because it feels good in my body, because I must.

I know that this music will grow and change and probably be better in later editions. And I know part of the practice is in sharing it, trusting it as it is to be enough. I trust myself as I am on this artistic path to be enough.

YOU are ENOUGH too.

More of my current offerings in this world:

You can check out more healing offerings and this month’s clothing optional embodiment classes at www.weepingwillowwellness.com

Book a FREE strategy session here to meet with me and discuss joining my 12 week somatic healing program, Whole Body Communicator

Find my music anywhere you stream. Just search Fermata Blaize!

Check out my children’s book The Possum And The Bunny

Join our Artist of Everything monthly Zoom hang by becoming a paid subscriber for $5. Your invitation is below the paywall ;)

And more to come!

Is Imposter Syndrome Ever warranted, though?

My answer to this question is a resounding YES! Harkening back to our IFS analogy, most of the “Protector Parts” that can go haywire and neg us into freeze started out as voices of reason before they got a god-complex and tried to run the show.

I wanna tell you an embarrassing and humorous story about when I probably SHOULD have listened to my Imposter Syndrome, or really, my voice of reason that knew I wasn’t a good fit for a certain endeavor.

I was walking Luna around the block in the mid-day SoCal winter sunshine, contemplating the who-knows-what of the day when I got the text.

“Hey, Blaize, are you available to —