When I Paddle Backwards, I go faster...

"When I push, I feel good. When I pull, I feel good." ~ Skrillex, Hamdi, Taichu and co.

My Personal Power Is Sometimes Right Behind Me

Last month, I brought some of the healing modalities I offer through Weeping Willow Wellness to Northern Nights Music Festival. What a trip! One evening, after several Reiki Informed Bodywork sessions, I floated in Eel River, listening to It’s Murph, and processing life. As I often do, I noticed metaphor in my experience.

If I floated backwards in my floatie, I was able to paddle more efficiently, my hands, like oars creating great speed. If I attempted to face forward, I could see where I was going, which in some ways felt more efficient, but I really couldn’t gather any momentum. This immediately felt so exemplary of my life.

I live, work, create and play in energetic cycles. People have many terms for living this way, some more helpful than others. I have learned to navigate these the best when I am acknowledging them as neutrally as possible and trusting the cycle.

Sometimes I am in an energetic low, or valley, moving slowly, facing forward, taking stock of all I’ve learned and everywhere I think I want to go, planting and tending to seeds of creativity. Sometimes, I’m in an energetic high or peak, quickly gaining momentum, adding more and more projects to the point where I can no longer see where I am going, I simply have to fly by faith that the seeds I planted are blooming, and trust that I’ll stick the landing when I come back down.

Currently I am on a goddamn mountain top, energetically speaking. Things are moving very quickly, and I don’t have much time to turn around to spot my trajectory. Here’s a non-exclusive list of some of the balls I’m juggling; I am producing a very special oracle deck project that I am thrilled to show you in the near future. I am in production on another Fermata Blaize single, and doing all the prep to shoot the music video next week. I am fostering tiny baby kittens that need to be fed every three hours. I just accepted a new part time job that I am thrilled about. I am in a brilliant, educational co-hort called North Node by Holisticism, as I work to grow my offerings at Weeping Willow Wellness. I’m seeing Embodied Communication Somatic coaching clients, bodywork clients, teaching clothed and nude yoga classes. I’m running my household singlehandedly as always and keeping my active kiddo engaged in classes and fun times these final days of summer, hosting friends, prepping for travel to see more family and friends. And I’m even doing a deep-dive on a 5-day shadow work challenge. And of course, writing this newsletter. And this is all JUST THIS WEEK! AHHHHH!!!!!

I cannot sustain this pace forever. It is not sustainable. And yet this week, everything has fit together just right and this excited pace is possible because of the time I spent moving slowly a few weeks ago, getting all the puzzle pieces in place to send them into this very fast motion. And while it feels a little edgy, breathless even in moments, it also feels goooooood. As the lyrics go to a currently popular rave track quoted in the subtitle of this piece, “When I push, I feel good. When I pull, I feel good. You better MOVE!”

The heart of my message in this week’s piece of writing is just that. There’s an eb and flow, a push and pull to life, no matter how cyclically or methodically you live. There’s a deep somatic wisdom in observing and leaning into our own cycles as we notice them. We can find great personal power in our ability to push and pull, go with and go against, flow and activate, rest and rise. And the way we expand into that is through cultivating body awareness, and often, some movement.

Back Body Somatic Practice

In our Artist of Everything Zoom hangout last month, we tried a back body awareness practice that was taught to me by Stevie Joy Leigh Guiol of Weaver And Rose Somatics. This practice comes from the somatic lineage of Hakomi.

You can see the replay of our practice as a paid subscriber, but in the meantime, just try taking a breath and feeling into the musculature and skeletal structure of your back body. Play around with very small, subtle movements in your back body, and notice where you feel your power.

Sometimes, my greatest sensation of power comes from leaning back just a bit until I feel the energy of my back body supporting me. This can mean literally moving backwards, like I did in Eel River, practicing trust and heightening sightless sense. It can mean finding relative stillness and leaning back until I feel my back muscles activate, giving me a sense of being held by my damn self.

You get to play around with this somatic concept and discover the meaning-making around it that empowers you!

For me, finding my way to this practice during a season of energetic high has felt very grounding and protective. As my mind spins fast, calculating moves to not miss anything, settling into my back body helps my heart slow down, my breathing regulate, my nervous system remember center.

Our back body is a great source of energy. So often we lead most of our lives forward-facing, and placing most of our attention there. What happens when we shake it up, flip it and reverse it?

Speaking of shake it up, did I mention I’m working on a new song and I can’t wait to share it!?

Creator Corner Collective

When one of us succeeds we all succeed. I believe this. No one grows anything in a vacuum. Because of this, each installment I will highlight someone I am stoked to share about!

This week, I’m introducing you all to my dear friend and the producer working on my upcoming Fermata Blaize single. Meet Jason Kutchma!

This is Jason playing at the @ChristinaGrimmieFoundation charity concert.

Jason is an incredibly talented, sensitive, artistic genius with a heart of gold. I met Jason through a mutual friend when I was looking for someone to score my film. Jason is a fellow Artist of Everything! He’s a brilliant composer, producer, photographer, videographer, lyricist, vocal coach, with a beautiful voice of his own. Check out this cover if you don’t believe me! (Just click the photo, it’s hyperlinked.)

I can’t wait to share with you all the song I wrote that Jason is working on right now! Under his care, it is blooming into a full-fledged story with wings. You can check out more of his music on Soundcloud and reach out to him with your production, film score, composition, live performance, photography and other artistic needs! He’s not only a great artist, but a wonderful human to be around, which is why I love working with him, and why I’m thrilled to introduce you.

Do you have a passion project, a business, art? What do you create?

Want to be highlighted in my letter? Reach out and tell me more about your work.

More creative stuff

You can check out more healing offerings at www.weepingwillowwellness.com

Book a FREE strategy session here to meet with me and discuss joining my 12 week somatic healing program, Whole Body Communicator

Find my music anywhere you stream. Just search Fermata Blaize!

Check out my children’s book The Possum And The Bunny

Join our Artist of Everything monthly Zoom hang by becoming a paid subscriber for $5. Your invitation is below the paywall ;)

And more to come!

I don’t have a big sexy story for you this month.

I suppose that’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is I have so many stories and experiences buzzing in my mind so quickly, that I can’t just pick one. So, hiding below this paywall is the playback of our last AOA hang, and the invitation to this month’s practice. And for now, that’s all folks! I won’t try to tease you in with a hook or a big personal reveal. I love you, and I am so excited to update you on all the things soon.

I’ll let you know when I’m paddling forward again. I’m sure there will be much to contemplate.

I’m settling in to set intentions in this New Moon, inviting in a moment of pause, trusting the stillness to carry me back into the fray. I feel the supportive hand of my own awareness like a friend at my back, and the community of my fellow artists, lovers, and creators both in this lifetime and ancestrally, like an army of love behind me. I can do anything.

What are you cultivating in your life at this time?

In love and healing, and ever as always, I am #hereformore.